game list of 11/29/08

xbox 360
- halo 3
- guitar hero 3
- fallout 3
- pgr4
- dead rising
- jet set radio future
- silent hill 2
- rockband
- mass effect
xbla
- double dragon arcade
- portal: still alive
- duke nukem 3d
- castle crashers
- halo
- jade empire
- pacman
- pacman championship edition
- sonic 2
- poker smash
- bomberman live
- uno
- yaris
- undertow
- tmnt arcade
- doom
- geometry wars
- geometry wars 2
- hexic hd
- rez hd
- bionic commando rearmed
ps2
- dance dance revolution titles
- prince of persia?
n64
- goldeneye
- resident evil 2
- zelda (in gold, yup)
- perfect dark
- star fox
playstation
- ddr konamix
- roll cage
- dino crisis
- final fantasy 5/6
- final fantasy 7
- final fantasy 9
nes
- super mario bros/duckhunt
- monopoly
- supermario bros 3
- tetris
- metroid
- double dragon 3
- dragon warrior
- galaga

It's Coming

me and my friends have something funny to show you, but I can't put it out yet, we're still working on it, refining it. Life is worth living, and so is waiting for this.

Be Patient

So,
things have been pretty nuts.

Melissa is constantly getting migraines, constantly I'm relying on her to do things around the house, just as she relies on me, but she can't follow through, because she's sick.

She blames me for the state of things.

And then my neighbors apartment catches fire, causing many necessary for the moment purchases, very frustrating.

As well as those hospital visits, thing I have to take care of, gas, baby sitting, extra food with no time to cook.

I'm short on money, short on patience, short on time, in an apartment filled with filth.
I just want to enjoy life, like we all do..

Some time ago, Melissa told me she loved me, I turned her away because I didn't love her, I didn't trust her.
After the fire, I felt like I could trust her, like I could love her.
I told her I loved her.

She told me, she loves me, but she can't live with me, because I don't share her same ethic for a clean house.

I see it all too clearly.
She's moving out with Rachel.

I knew it all along.
I can't financially sustain my current living position and pay the child support. It's easy for me to live with her to take care of things, because I take care of my rent and my usual, and she takes care of the child care and doesn't worry about rent.

I've bared my soul to her, through all sorts of mediums. through talking, through emails, through texts.

What am I left with?
She replies 'i have nothing to say.'

Has she no mind, no soul of her own, no feelings?!
That she does, but I've hurt her I suppose.
That night... Total destruction for one, baptismal for another.
I'm spinning on a wheel that's on fire, grinding into the asphalt, shaking off it's axel, leaning towards a fault line, and I'm all out of air.

Baptismal for destruction.

All around me, it's all I ever seem to cause, is pain and disappointment. Yet I see it all coming.

Is it sadistic that I do nothing to change? That I deny what is before me? Despite my futile efforts I couldn't change it anyway, not without doing something far more drastic than I could ever comprehend.

Perhaps I will put in for a new job...

you bastards

so here i was getting all excited because i was told the LHC would be turned on today

 

looks like they won't be crossing the streams until next month.

 

didn't ghost busters teach them anything?

 

and what about those idiots who're cloning dinosaurs?

didn't someone give them a copy of jurassic park?

MOAR VIDEO GAME REVIEWS

ok, these are rather short, because I can't be bothered to play through a game that's absolute shit.

Prey:
very interesting design, and having a character using Native American (i was born here, I was raised here, and dad gummit i'm gonna die here... I'm white but that doesn't mean I'm not a native..) mythology (that's right, I said it punks) is something that is rare these days. However I found the game just simply unplayable after a while. I just could not bring myself to play it. why? it's boring. my nickname for this game is "Pray it's not a bad game."

Devil May Cry 4:
while the fighting system with the rating system is very interesting, and to be honest I enjoyed it. I couldn't really bring myself to play through the Emo bullcrap. this is like Square Enix's older brother. I mean, who the hell designed these characters? they belong in a JRPG not an action adventure game.

Overlord:
it's Pikmin. Many people would describe it as badguy Pikmin, but to be fair, you were a bad guy in Pikmin. You're an alien and you enslave their entire race. Anyway, this is about Overlord, which really isn't that bad of a game, I liked it for the most part. It just sort of got Tedious. it's like a mmorpg except you're alone. The grind to this game is just a little boring, I suppose if you like real time strategy games, or if you liked Pikmin, you'd love Overlord. It's just not my cup of tea, personally.

Armored Core 4:
More liked Armored Core Bore (thanks Adam). Seriously, this game was about as interesting as an excel spreadsheet. Now some of you might be upset about this, but seriously, it sucked ASS. I was a huge fan of Armored Core 2 on the PS2, but something about this version.. just makes it feel like more work than play. Managing your Armored Core is now more boring than ever.. Good job Sega. You ruined Agetecs Master Piece.

Perfect Dark Zero:
I didn't get to play this game when it came out, and I did hear a lot of bad things about it, but as a fan, I figured I ought to give it a chance. The game isn't bad, if you take it by itself. If you look at the original Perfect Dark, this game is a shit sucking, ass eating, fucking pile of dog shit. This game sucks so much, even Rare has forgotten about it. Many of the wonderful innovations from the Original Perfect Dark, like all the wonderful customization options of the multiplayer menu, or to be able to see the story come out thru cutscenes, are all gone. You have to discover the story through 'radio transmission.' I mean, I thought I'd give the game a fair chance, as I am a die hard fan of the series, and many of the reviews on Gamefaqs actually did give it a fairly good score. But they're wrong. This game in no way lives up to the original. Sure it's a prequel, but they could have done much better. We're all aware that Rare has made Goldeneye for use on the XBLA, but of course due to licensing issues they can't release it. But they could, theoretically, release Perfect Dark this way, because they only have to deal with Nintendo, and seeing as many companies have already dealt with Nintendo over their IP to be put on the XBLA (see: Bionic Commando, TMNT, Double Dragon), they could do this quite easily. This is the only way they can redeem themselves.

Anyway, that's all for today.

Technical Support Over THE PHONE!

A lot of people have a really low opinion of technical support reps.
Think they're stupid.

And I suppose that's a good thing, because in my position, half the time I'd rather have them think 'oh he wouldn't know anything, i better call someone else.' and not waste my time, with their inability to even know what the fuck a startmenu is or that the fact their speakers aren't working means their goddamn internet is out.

jesus fucking christ there are some idiots out there.

every now and then though, you get someone who knows what they're talking about, these people aren't so bad, but usually they try to get you to do something, that you could get in trouble with.

I'm not going to manage your router, even if I know how. I'm not going to go outside of my scope of support. If I did that, I could lose my job. Why? why would I do that? Why risk my job just to help your dumbass setup a router. If you don't know how, don't ask me. You have the internet, that's the whole goddamn world at your mother fucking finger tips.

And you go 'oh gee, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I better call my ISP.'

Well fuck you douche bag. Take the time to learn something and maybe you won't be so fucking clueless all the goddamn time. Cocksucker.

Too Human

Alright boys and girls,
every body seems to be doing it, so I suppose it's time I do it.

here is my experience, my review, of Too Human.

Now, I can't say I was typically excited about this game from the start. I read a couple articles about how Dennis was extremely pissed at Epic about engine changes and the like, I mostly just thought the whole situation was retarded.

After playing a little bit of the game, I did a little more history on it, apparently the game follows some sort of Norse mythology, where instead of being Gods, the characters are regular humans with bionic implants (you know, I just recently rebought Deus Ex..). This concept, to me, is fairly laughable. But I decided 'I'll go along with it, sure, I played a plumber who eats mushrooms to get bigger and last longer.'

Anyway, my first real experience with the game, was when I was at a friends house, watching the demo being played.
I thought to myself 'lol, he's destroying robots, he's not actually fighting, he shouldn't get any experience points, unless you count beating up a wall as something worth giving experience for.'
But again, I've seen weirder things in games, so we continue.

I thought the combat system was pretty cool, being able to slide over to opponents and using the right stick for attacks was fairly awe inspiring, if not reminiscient of Geometry Wars or Everyday shooter..

Later, after watching the demo, and considering it a piece of shiat, I decided I might buy the game, to have a laugh with a friend of mine, play some co-op and just find the game amazingly fun, to make fun of. I had the chance of pre-ordering it, five minutes before it got to the store, so of course I took them up on it.

i brought it home, and let it sit for a while, i'm a busy guy, got my kids to look after, you know.
when i finally did get to sitting down to it, it was maybe 7:00pm, i took my pre-order trial code, it wasn't active. Called my buddy up, his code wasn't active either. 'oh well' we said 'just keep playing.'


anyway, the worst aspect of this game, has to be death.
When you die, you get a nice little animation of a Valkyrie coming down and bringing your body to Valhalla, every time, unskippable. You get to sit there and watch this process, sometimes fairly frequently, as you will often time die due to glitches in the game, many of which spawn from dying in the first place.

after the valkyrie ascends with your corpse to heaven, you are respawned in the area. Now how close or far you are from the action apparently depends greatly, on the weather, time of day, and how the game is feeling at the time. You could spawn at the beginning of the level (very annoying if you were in the heat of a boss battle) or right back in the fray (which can also be annoying because usually after you die, you get up and make yourself a sandwich because the goddamn valkyrie takes too goddamn long.)

Anyway, once you do respawn, you are treated to a lottery of set backs, the first being the programmed ones (damage taken to your armor/weapons) and the second is whether or not your hud will appear (happens very frequently on the final level), whether or not your long range weapons will target appropriately, whether or not your team mates have decimated the enemies, and your chance at leveling up, whether or not your team mates are living anymore, and whether or not you've returned the game at this point, you could experience the pleasure of using your returned monies to play a better game.

Death is bad, very bad, so bad, I'd rather not play the game. I mean, no one has to say dying must be fun (except for those guys over at Pain! of course), and you don't have to instantly respawn I guess, I mean, look at many of our wonderful first person shooters, like counter-strike source for example, if you die early on in the round, you have to wait sometimes more than 20 minutes for the round to end, or the map which ever one comes first.

But the fundamental flaw, with having to wait after dying in this game is, is that while in first person shooters, and etc where you die, usually the action keeps going, in this either your troops go ahead and waste whatever enemies that killed you (and steal your precious XP and loots), or your troops are either wasted or just plain disappear. You don't make any progress by dying. You aren't really set back too much either, you don't lose experience or money by dying, just your armor takes damage, and that could mean something if you like your armor and want to repair it, but in this game, armor and weapon upgrades are frequent, i find that I upgrade 2-3 times during a level anyway, although dying happens much more frequently.

Now, I also mentioned above that your HUD disappears, you don't know how frustrating that can be. Maybe you've played the game already, so maybe you do, but..
dear god is it awful.

you no longer know how much health you have, how much ammo, whether or not you're near your ruiner (special move) or the status of your spider (another special move kind of thing). It's just.. fuck a donkey's ass.. god damn it... fuck it!
I mean, seriously, it's such a goddamn piece of fucking shit, this game, seriously, this game is suppose to drive us NUTS Dennis?! more like it SUCKS NUTS Dennis, just like your mother.

Despite this, there are many other shitty aspects to the game.

Being unable to aim at the correct target (often times, the auto aim, instead of aiming at the target directly infront of you, will target the enemy a couple degrees to the left, and about a million fucking miles away!) It's so fucking annoying, I mean, the guy you want to target is RIGHT there, I mean, you could measure the distance between the two and I'm willing to bet that you'd need a hadron collider to get an accurate measurement.

Weapons and armor all look really cool, but with the constant upgrades to armor and weapons that you get, it almost becomes pointless. Many weapons have their own specific model, many are just reskins, but usually you'll find that your characters appearance changes frequently, without a real model viewer or an ability to close up on your character, you'll find that the majority of the time you'll be forgetting pieces of armor rather than admiring them. While this is a neat feature to be able to have many different types of models for weapons and armor, it doesn't really make a difference in the end game, so a feature that could have been fun, if explored more in depth, is passed, but who really cares what he looks like anyway? I mean, I'd dress him up in a paris hilton mockup outfit if it gave me superior stats.

Storyline..
Now, don't crucify me, just because I don't know Norse Mythology. There's nothing on the box, no kind of warning at startup, that if you don't fall in to this small number of people who know, or are at least familliar with Norse mythology, you're fairly much boned as far as understanding what in the hel (lol) is going on.

Basically, you're Baldur, son of Odin, except not. you're Baldur, some crazy ass bionically advanced human being who is the son of ODIN.. which I can only guess is some kind of ghetto ass machine that fuses kitchen appliances into people.

Now what sort of cybernetic gains might you have, now that you're part of the borg? try nothing, yup none whatsoever, except you have some cracks in your skull that emanate light beams and keep your ass up at night while you're trying to catch some shut eye because you gotta beat up some trolls in the morning.
Anyway, back on topic, you're cybernetic Baldur, and Hod just recently killed you and your wife, why? because he thought you were Loki of course!

You have to be a fan of day time soap operas to enjoy this, I tried to get into it, seeing Loki's daughter was a fairly shocking experience, as well as those oracles, I don't want to give away too much, but some of it was fairly interesting, but that doesn't mean I knew what was going on.

as far as believability goes for this game, it's right out the window, this is a very scifi/fantasy title, where some of the technical advances don't make sense. But I mean, we can accept Halo and Super Mario Bros and Hyrule, so why not this?

Mostly because to understand it, you need to know Norse mythology, or at least be familliar with it. Because of all these things, this game is horrible, I'd rather swim through ten thousand yards of elephant shit that's on fire, and take a salt bath afterwards than play this game again.

I mean, this game is shit. Fuck you Dennis!