Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Working Towards A New Start

Well, I've heard no word from the police so I've resigned myself to save up money for a new car, within the next two weeks, I should have enough money to get one.

Just last night, I got my own individual phone line, and sent Melissa along with her own phone lines.

I've started up a band and we're having a lot of fun making songs, but since I can't play an instrument, I've been learning to play bass. It's supposed to be fairly easy to learn. I used to be able to play the guitar fairly well, so I should have a very easy time learning to play bass.

Emotionally though, I'm having a very difficult time. I still love her so much. Even though she hurt me so badly.

I can't stand it at all.

I've continued going to counseling, and I think it's helping. I know I really enjoy going.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I want my heart to fly again, to sing about the joys of a new love.

Whenever I masturbate, I can't help but think about the last time I had sex. It's completely normal, yes. But also painful.

To think of love lost.

It has been difficult, I won't lie.
To keep from viewing pornography, in the hopes of keeping images of her out.
But as I continue to separate myself from her, I think it will get easier.

I think I'm beginning to get a crush on Christina.
Not a good thing, as she's a friend of a friend, she has a boyfriend, and she's not very faithful to the people she's with.

So take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to love so free.
And when we hear, the angels sing, the book of love will open up and let us in.


Anyway, other than that, things have been ok. The boys are so wonderful. I miss them.

Not having a car has made it difficult to see them.
Anyway, my band and I play mostly funny songs. Original content though. Which is good. I think it's better to play badly and write your own content than to play well and rip everyone off.

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