As Of Today

I'm living at my dads house.

Melissa and I are going to work on setting up child support and visitation.

She sent nude pictures of herself to her boyfriend while I was living there.

I am heart broken.

I saw her yesterday, and talked to her last night. She's hurting.

She says she cares for me but doesn't love me. I don't think she knows her feelings 100%

She cried the last two times I talked to her.



She's really close with Brom.



Can I expect her to stick through it? No.

Would I like her to? Yes.



I still love her. But I can't do that, say that, think that, anymore.

I have to heal.

If there will be a relationship in the future, it will have to be after we've both healed. Maybe even moved on.

In order for our friendship to work, we have to forgive each other.

Gabriel has a staff infection. I love my boys so much, and I miss them. I wish I could spend every waking second with them.

Last Sunday, I saw a pastor who was willing to counsel me, unfortunately he has yet to contact me with availability for today. I don't mind if today isn't good I just want to be kept in the loop.

I went hunting for some single women online, not to date, I'm not ready for that yet. But just to meet them, make some friends. Maybe some LTR later.

I can't stand this. I want to be in control of the situation. I want to stop the pain.
Nothing but time, and this is a bad time.