Deceit

Good Morning Blog,
and what a horrible morning it is.

This week has kind of been building up, to some kind of strange.
I talked to Melissa, and I finally convinced her (I forget how) that dating right now isn't the best thing. So she's neither with me, or dating. Or, so I thought.
And things were perking up a little bit, as we had sex the other night.

Anyway, Saturday she was supposed to go out with her friends to Goodyear (another city in Arizona), to party. She told me that it was just too far out and she was thinking she'd probably cancel.
She also told me that this weekend (Thursday-Saturday) she'd drop off the boys and pick them up.
These are things that did not happen on Saturday.

She decided to sleep in, after I told her time after time, that the sitter wants the kids early on Saturday.
So she finally dropped them off at noon (she wrote 11:00 am, on the wrong side of the sheet with the sitter), and we went furniture shopping at the many goodwills in phoenix. We didn't see anything we liked, but during the trip she got a phone call from one of her girlfriends.
Asking her if she was going to come at 4:00 in the afternoon, and then come back to phoenix, Sunday morning.
She said 'lol, y sure!'
But, she had to pick up the kids at 6:00 from the sitters.

Anyway, she shrugged off her responsibility on me. Sure I told her I would do it, but if she wasn't going to do it, who the hell would?

Anyway, she left, I got the kids, the night was pretty uneventful. She sent me some pictures of the party.



I don't know what kind of party it was, as of yet she hasn't spoken to me about it (she's home now even).
Anyway, I finally was asleep at like 11:00ish.

Come about 4 o'clock in the morning (not too long ago now) I hear some talking and what not in the living room, so I get up and I shout out, 'Melissa?'
Pretty stupid, actually seeing as I don't know who it is.

Anyway, yeah it was her, and it turns out she was on the phone with Brom (the guy she went on a date with earlier, who she doesn't know if she likes yet, and apparently has to talk to a ton).
She's actually still on the phone with him.
She told me she was going to finalize plans with him for later today (assuming she's still going to stop going out with him) and then take a shower.
This was some 45 minutes ago she told me this.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that she's been lying to me all along, and she is trying to string me along like some little puppy dog.
I'm sick of it, so I'm going to distance myself from her, and I think in order to do that, I need to go and date some people.

She's going to ask me 'Do you want to try to make this work?'
I'm going to tell her 'No, I don't want to. I lied to you, and hurt you, and ruined your self-esteem. You never forgave me, not that you have to, but to be around someone who is still holding a grudge after I've done so much to change myself, after I've come clean and honest about who I am and who I want to be, you still feel the need to get even with me. I'm sorry but I can't have a relationship with someone like that. Maybe it is my own fault, but at this point there's nothing I can do about it. Revenge is no basis for a relationship.'

She obviously likes Brom more than she is telling me, she obviously is just using me now.
It is over, she doesn't want me, she wants to hurt me.

Anyway, more updates after I talk to her, of course.