Melissa has viewed pornography,
Melissa is suspicious that I may be looking at pornography.
I'm not, I haven't.
But she says to me 'I know you have, what would it hurt for you to have told me? I wouldn't be upset.'
She says this every time she gets suspicious.
Which makes me, in turn, want to view pornography, so I could tell her about it.
So she can trust me some more.
But I'm afraid of viewing it because I don't want to slip. And viewing it, just to tell her that I did, doesn't work either. Because she wants to know if I slipped.
Even typing about this now is starting to rouse demons in me.
Anyway, I'm going to go finish folding the laundry and make some dinner. I have a job interview with AMEX tomorrow (I missed the one on saturday, because I couldn't sleep friday night, at all), and I will hopefully get it, I have my neighbors information and I'm going to get a better job.
Also, I made a sale today at my work.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Recent News
I've been working for Epic Commerce LLC. As a telemarketer.
It stinks. It's a fledgling company, they don't have great leads, they don't have many leads..
I think I might be fired tomorrow, because I have been unsuccessful in getting many sales. Although I've done better this week, than last week (This being my second week there). Money is running dry, thankfully our foodstamps have come in today, so we can feed our children.
In reference to pornography, I've not had any problems, I've been really busy focusing on work. I found myself, last weekend feeling like I kind of wanted to look at it, but I was able to easily push it aside.
Mostly I just felt like looking at it because I was bored and I wasn't actively doing something at that time. Instead I cleaned house, and played my pokemon game. Yeah, it's kind of silly a man of my age, at 20, with two kids, playing pokemon. But It's one of the few stress free things in my life.
I have a job interview for American Express on Saturday, and I'm going to go to another telemarketer place, after work tomorrow (Ha, I might get fired..) for an interview, they will hire me for a constant $14 an hour, as opposed to sales based, and they're 40 hours a week (currently, I'm working 30, it's nice, but I would rather have money than free time right now).
Anyway, my car is still acting up, I quit my pizza job (the manager was playing favorites with one of his employees, I wasn't directly involved but I frown on that kind of behavior so I quit), My bank account is low, Melissa had her id, debit, and credit card stolen out of her purse, as well as a check her father was going to give to me to pay me for her sisters phone.
So yeah, it's been really, really, really stressful, but I have not resorted to looking at pornography. I also have not been reading my books, but I have hardly even had the feeling to look at it, except for a little bit on the weekends, and I've already learned how to deal with those kind of feelings in that situation. I wouldn't say I'm cured, but with things being so busy right now, I just plain don't have the time.
The boys are more jealous of each other, constantly vying for attention. It's crazy and hectic but I'm not falling apart.
It stinks. It's a fledgling company, they don't have great leads, they don't have many leads..
I think I might be fired tomorrow, because I have been unsuccessful in getting many sales. Although I've done better this week, than last week (This being my second week there). Money is running dry, thankfully our foodstamps have come in today, so we can feed our children.
In reference to pornography, I've not had any problems, I've been really busy focusing on work. I found myself, last weekend feeling like I kind of wanted to look at it, but I was able to easily push it aside.
Mostly I just felt like looking at it because I was bored and I wasn't actively doing something at that time. Instead I cleaned house, and played my pokemon game. Yeah, it's kind of silly a man of my age, at 20, with two kids, playing pokemon. But It's one of the few stress free things in my life.
I have a job interview for American Express on Saturday, and I'm going to go to another telemarketer place, after work tomorrow (Ha, I might get fired..) for an interview, they will hire me for a constant $14 an hour, as opposed to sales based, and they're 40 hours a week (currently, I'm working 30, it's nice, but I would rather have money than free time right now).
Anyway, my car is still acting up, I quit my pizza job (the manager was playing favorites with one of his employees, I wasn't directly involved but I frown on that kind of behavior so I quit), My bank account is low, Melissa had her id, debit, and credit card stolen out of her purse, as well as a check her father was going to give to me to pay me for her sisters phone.
So yeah, it's been really, really, really stressful, but I have not resorted to looking at pornography. I also have not been reading my books, but I have hardly even had the feeling to look at it, except for a little bit on the weekends, and I've already learned how to deal with those kind of feelings in that situation. I wouldn't say I'm cured, but with things being so busy right now, I just plain don't have the time.
The boys are more jealous of each other, constantly vying for attention. It's crazy and hectic but I'm not falling apart.
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