Working Towards A New Start

Well, I've heard no word from the police so I've resigned myself to save up money for a new car, within the next two weeks, I should have enough money to get one.

Just last night, I got my own individual phone line, and sent Melissa along with her own phone lines.

I've started up a band and we're having a lot of fun making songs, but since I can't play an instrument, I've been learning to play bass. It's supposed to be fairly easy to learn. I used to be able to play the guitar fairly well, so I should have a very easy time learning to play bass.

Emotionally though, I'm having a very difficult time. I still love her so much. Even though she hurt me so badly.

I can't stand it at all.

I've continued going to counseling, and I think it's helping. I know I really enjoy going.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I want my heart to fly again, to sing about the joys of a new love.

Whenever I masturbate, I can't help but think about the last time I had sex. It's completely normal, yes. But also painful.

To think of love lost.

It has been difficult, I won't lie.
To keep from viewing pornography, in the hopes of keeping images of her out.
But as I continue to separate myself from her, I think it will get easier.

I think I'm beginning to get a crush on Christina.
Not a good thing, as she's a friend of a friend, she has a boyfriend, and she's not very faithful to the people she's with.

So take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to love so free.
And when we hear, the angels sing, the book of love will open up and let us in.


Anyway, other than that, things have been ok. The boys are so wonderful. I miss them.

Not having a car has made it difficult to see them.
Anyway, my band and I play mostly funny songs. Original content though. Which is good. I think it's better to play badly and write your own content than to play well and rip everyone off.

My Car Was Stolen

Yeah, it's gone.
I woke up Friday morning, went out to go to work, and it wasn't there.

I called the police, and filed a report.
Still no word on my car.

Today, I'm throwing a party for Xachary.

He turned 1 year old on the Ninth.

Originally, we wanted the whole family to be there, but Melissa is apparently too sick and so is Gabriel, but I think they may go anyway.

Zippo Lighter Trick

I think this is really cool.

My Life as I live it

Things have been changing.
I'm to my schedule at work (7-330). I've been hanging out with friends. I'm looking for a new place to live.

Last Friday, I was hoping to hangout with a friend of mine, Alice, but at the last minute she had to cancel.

So I decided I'd call Max, and see what he was upto.
He wanted to go get coffee and it sounded like a good idea to me so we went to Starbucks and met up with Megan.

I got a phone call from Jennifer, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out too. So Heather and Jennifer both came to Starbucks as well.

If you're curious as to who they are, I met Heather and Jennifer a week before, although I knew Jennifer on myspace. We saw Resdent Evil: Apocalypse (it was enjoyable, but unintentionally funny), met some friends of mine at a supposed party, and went back to their place to play guitar hero, until the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, from Starbucks, Max, Megan, Heather, Jennifer, and myself continued to Dennys where I proceeded to drink more coffee than I should have. Megan left, and then the four of us decided to head back to Jennifers place, to drink, watch movies, play games, and have fun.

we mostly just played kaboom, a fun little drinking game where you flick a quarter with one hand, drink a beer with that same hand, then pick up the quarter before it stops spinning. Every time you finish a beer you get a 'kaboom' which you can use to stop someone elses quarter from spinning, and force them to drink.
We also saw a movie called the Re-penetrator. A zombie pornography, that was very funny.

the weekend continued that way, drinking, partying, having fun.

Last night I went out with Heather, Jennifer, Max, and I met a new person, named Adam, and we had fun again. They wanted to drink, but I refused to drink more than just one beer, as I have work today.

I'm feeling especially lonely today.

my friend Adam (not the previous one mentioned) was hit by a car on Monday.
his pelvis was broken in three different places and he'll be in a walker for a couple of months.

I wrote him a card, and tried to see him in the hospital, but he left just as I arrived.

Anyway, now I feel really sad. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette.