stuff

so i made a new video website with wegame.com

couple days ago i won some money
here's the profile

weclocks videos at wegame

Watch more video games and play free games at WeGame.

game list of 11/29/08

xbox 360
- halo 3
- guitar hero 3
- fallout 3
- pgr4
- dead rising
- jet set radio future
- silent hill 2
- rockband
- mass effect
xbla
- double dragon arcade
- portal: still alive
- duke nukem 3d
- castle crashers
- halo
- jade empire
- pacman
- pacman championship edition
- sonic 2
- poker smash
- bomberman live
- uno
- yaris
- undertow
- tmnt arcade
- doom
- geometry wars
- geometry wars 2
- hexic hd
- rez hd
- bionic commando rearmed
ps2
- dance dance revolution titles
- prince of persia?
n64
- goldeneye
- resident evil 2
- zelda (in gold, yup)
- perfect dark
- star fox
playstation
- ddr konamix
- roll cage
- dino crisis
- final fantasy 5/6
- final fantasy 7
- final fantasy 9
nes
- super mario bros/duckhunt
- monopoly
- supermario bros 3
- tetris
- metroid
- double dragon 3
- dragon warrior
- galaga

It's Coming

me and my friends have something funny to show you, but I can't put it out yet, we're still working on it, refining it. Life is worth living, and so is waiting for this.

Be Patient

So,
things have been pretty nuts.

Melissa is constantly getting migraines, constantly I'm relying on her to do things around the house, just as she relies on me, but she can't follow through, because she's sick.

She blames me for the state of things.

And then my neighbors apartment catches fire, causing many necessary for the moment purchases, very frustrating.

As well as those hospital visits, thing I have to take care of, gas, baby sitting, extra food with no time to cook.

I'm short on money, short on patience, short on time, in an apartment filled with filth.
I just want to enjoy life, like we all do..

Some time ago, Melissa told me she loved me, I turned her away because I didn't love her, I didn't trust her.
After the fire, I felt like I could trust her, like I could love her.
I told her I loved her.

She told me, she loves me, but she can't live with me, because I don't share her same ethic for a clean house.

I see it all too clearly.
She's moving out with Rachel.

I knew it all along.
I can't financially sustain my current living position and pay the child support. It's easy for me to live with her to take care of things, because I take care of my rent and my usual, and she takes care of the child care and doesn't worry about rent.

I've bared my soul to her, through all sorts of mediums. through talking, through emails, through texts.

What am I left with?
She replies 'i have nothing to say.'

Has she no mind, no soul of her own, no feelings?!
That she does, but I've hurt her I suppose.
That night... Total destruction for one, baptismal for another.
I'm spinning on a wheel that's on fire, grinding into the asphalt, shaking off it's axel, leaning towards a fault line, and I'm all out of air.

Baptismal for destruction.

All around me, it's all I ever seem to cause, is pain and disappointment. Yet I see it all coming.

Is it sadistic that I do nothing to change? That I deny what is before me? Despite my futile efforts I couldn't change it anyway, not without doing something far more drastic than I could ever comprehend.

Perhaps I will put in for a new job...

you bastards

so here i was getting all excited because i was told the LHC would be turned on today

 

looks like they won't be crossing the streams until next month.

 

didn't ghost busters teach them anything?

 

and what about those idiots who're cloning dinosaurs?

didn't someone give them a copy of jurassic park?

MOAR VIDEO GAME REVIEWS

ok, these are rather short, because I can't be bothered to play through a game that's absolute shit.

Prey:
very interesting design, and having a character using Native American (i was born here, I was raised here, and dad gummit i'm gonna die here... I'm white but that doesn't mean I'm not a native..) mythology (that's right, I said it punks) is something that is rare these days. However I found the game just simply unplayable after a while. I just could not bring myself to play it. why? it's boring. my nickname for this game is "Pray it's not a bad game."

Devil May Cry 4:
while the fighting system with the rating system is very interesting, and to be honest I enjoyed it. I couldn't really bring myself to play through the Emo bullcrap. this is like Square Enix's older brother. I mean, who the hell designed these characters? they belong in a JRPG not an action adventure game.

Overlord:
it's Pikmin. Many people would describe it as badguy Pikmin, but to be fair, you were a bad guy in Pikmin. You're an alien and you enslave their entire race. Anyway, this is about Overlord, which really isn't that bad of a game, I liked it for the most part. It just sort of got Tedious. it's like a mmorpg except you're alone. The grind to this game is just a little boring, I suppose if you like real time strategy games, or if you liked Pikmin, you'd love Overlord. It's just not my cup of tea, personally.

Armored Core 4:
More liked Armored Core Bore (thanks Adam). Seriously, this game was about as interesting as an excel spreadsheet. Now some of you might be upset about this, but seriously, it sucked ASS. I was a huge fan of Armored Core 2 on the PS2, but something about this version.. just makes it feel like more work than play. Managing your Armored Core is now more boring than ever.. Good job Sega. You ruined Agetecs Master Piece.

Perfect Dark Zero:
I didn't get to play this game when it came out, and I did hear a lot of bad things about it, but as a fan, I figured I ought to give it a chance. The game isn't bad, if you take it by itself. If you look at the original Perfect Dark, this game is a shit sucking, ass eating, fucking pile of dog shit. This game sucks so much, even Rare has forgotten about it. Many of the wonderful innovations from the Original Perfect Dark, like all the wonderful customization options of the multiplayer menu, or to be able to see the story come out thru cutscenes, are all gone. You have to discover the story through 'radio transmission.' I mean, I thought I'd give the game a fair chance, as I am a die hard fan of the series, and many of the reviews on Gamefaqs actually did give it a fairly good score. But they're wrong. This game in no way lives up to the original. Sure it's a prequel, but they could have done much better. We're all aware that Rare has made Goldeneye for use on the XBLA, but of course due to licensing issues they can't release it. But they could, theoretically, release Perfect Dark this way, because they only have to deal with Nintendo, and seeing as many companies have already dealt with Nintendo over their IP to be put on the XBLA (see: Bionic Commando, TMNT, Double Dragon), they could do this quite easily. This is the only way they can redeem themselves.

Anyway, that's all for today.

Technical Support Over THE PHONE!

A lot of people have a really low opinion of technical support reps.
Think they're stupid.

And I suppose that's a good thing, because in my position, half the time I'd rather have them think 'oh he wouldn't know anything, i better call someone else.' and not waste my time, with their inability to even know what the fuck a startmenu is or that the fact their speakers aren't working means their goddamn internet is out.

jesus fucking christ there are some idiots out there.

every now and then though, you get someone who knows what they're talking about, these people aren't so bad, but usually they try to get you to do something, that you could get in trouble with.

I'm not going to manage your router, even if I know how. I'm not going to go outside of my scope of support. If I did that, I could lose my job. Why? why would I do that? Why risk my job just to help your dumbass setup a router. If you don't know how, don't ask me. You have the internet, that's the whole goddamn world at your mother fucking finger tips.

And you go 'oh gee, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I better call my ISP.'

Well fuck you douche bag. Take the time to learn something and maybe you won't be so fucking clueless all the goddamn time. Cocksucker.

Too Human

Alright boys and girls,
every body seems to be doing it, so I suppose it's time I do it.

here is my experience, my review, of Too Human.

Now, I can't say I was typically excited about this game from the start. I read a couple articles about how Dennis was extremely pissed at Epic about engine changes and the like, I mostly just thought the whole situation was retarded.

After playing a little bit of the game, I did a little more history on it, apparently the game follows some sort of Norse mythology, where instead of being Gods, the characters are regular humans with bionic implants (you know, I just recently rebought Deus Ex..). This concept, to me, is fairly laughable. But I decided 'I'll go along with it, sure, I played a plumber who eats mushrooms to get bigger and last longer.'

Anyway, my first real experience with the game, was when I was at a friends house, watching the demo being played.
I thought to myself 'lol, he's destroying robots, he's not actually fighting, he shouldn't get any experience points, unless you count beating up a wall as something worth giving experience for.'
But again, I've seen weirder things in games, so we continue.

I thought the combat system was pretty cool, being able to slide over to opponents and using the right stick for attacks was fairly awe inspiring, if not reminiscient of Geometry Wars or Everyday shooter..

Later, after watching the demo, and considering it a piece of shiat, I decided I might buy the game, to have a laugh with a friend of mine, play some co-op and just find the game amazingly fun, to make fun of. I had the chance of pre-ordering it, five minutes before it got to the store, so of course I took them up on it.

i brought it home, and let it sit for a while, i'm a busy guy, got my kids to look after, you know.
when i finally did get to sitting down to it, it was maybe 7:00pm, i took my pre-order trial code, it wasn't active. Called my buddy up, his code wasn't active either. 'oh well' we said 'just keep playing.'


anyway, the worst aspect of this game, has to be death.
When you die, you get a nice little animation of a Valkyrie coming down and bringing your body to Valhalla, every time, unskippable. You get to sit there and watch this process, sometimes fairly frequently, as you will often time die due to glitches in the game, many of which spawn from dying in the first place.

after the valkyrie ascends with your corpse to heaven, you are respawned in the area. Now how close or far you are from the action apparently depends greatly, on the weather, time of day, and how the game is feeling at the time. You could spawn at the beginning of the level (very annoying if you were in the heat of a boss battle) or right back in the fray (which can also be annoying because usually after you die, you get up and make yourself a sandwich because the goddamn valkyrie takes too goddamn long.)

Anyway, once you do respawn, you are treated to a lottery of set backs, the first being the programmed ones (damage taken to your armor/weapons) and the second is whether or not your hud will appear (happens very frequently on the final level), whether or not your long range weapons will target appropriately, whether or not your team mates have decimated the enemies, and your chance at leveling up, whether or not your team mates are living anymore, and whether or not you've returned the game at this point, you could experience the pleasure of using your returned monies to play a better game.

Death is bad, very bad, so bad, I'd rather not play the game. I mean, no one has to say dying must be fun (except for those guys over at Pain! of course), and you don't have to instantly respawn I guess, I mean, look at many of our wonderful first person shooters, like counter-strike source for example, if you die early on in the round, you have to wait sometimes more than 20 minutes for the round to end, or the map which ever one comes first.

But the fundamental flaw, with having to wait after dying in this game is, is that while in first person shooters, and etc where you die, usually the action keeps going, in this either your troops go ahead and waste whatever enemies that killed you (and steal your precious XP and loots), or your troops are either wasted or just plain disappear. You don't make any progress by dying. You aren't really set back too much either, you don't lose experience or money by dying, just your armor takes damage, and that could mean something if you like your armor and want to repair it, but in this game, armor and weapon upgrades are frequent, i find that I upgrade 2-3 times during a level anyway, although dying happens much more frequently.

Now, I also mentioned above that your HUD disappears, you don't know how frustrating that can be. Maybe you've played the game already, so maybe you do, but..
dear god is it awful.

you no longer know how much health you have, how much ammo, whether or not you're near your ruiner (special move) or the status of your spider (another special move kind of thing). It's just.. fuck a donkey's ass.. god damn it... fuck it!
I mean, seriously, it's such a goddamn piece of fucking shit, this game, seriously, this game is suppose to drive us NUTS Dennis?! more like it SUCKS NUTS Dennis, just like your mother.

Despite this, there are many other shitty aspects to the game.

Being unable to aim at the correct target (often times, the auto aim, instead of aiming at the target directly infront of you, will target the enemy a couple degrees to the left, and about a million fucking miles away!) It's so fucking annoying, I mean, the guy you want to target is RIGHT there, I mean, you could measure the distance between the two and I'm willing to bet that you'd need a hadron collider to get an accurate measurement.

Weapons and armor all look really cool, but with the constant upgrades to armor and weapons that you get, it almost becomes pointless. Many weapons have their own specific model, many are just reskins, but usually you'll find that your characters appearance changes frequently, without a real model viewer or an ability to close up on your character, you'll find that the majority of the time you'll be forgetting pieces of armor rather than admiring them. While this is a neat feature to be able to have many different types of models for weapons and armor, it doesn't really make a difference in the end game, so a feature that could have been fun, if explored more in depth, is passed, but who really cares what he looks like anyway? I mean, I'd dress him up in a paris hilton mockup outfit if it gave me superior stats.

Storyline..
Now, don't crucify me, just because I don't know Norse Mythology. There's nothing on the box, no kind of warning at startup, that if you don't fall in to this small number of people who know, or are at least familliar with Norse mythology, you're fairly much boned as far as understanding what in the hel (lol) is going on.

Basically, you're Baldur, son of Odin, except not. you're Baldur, some crazy ass bionically advanced human being who is the son of ODIN.. which I can only guess is some kind of ghetto ass machine that fuses kitchen appliances into people.

Now what sort of cybernetic gains might you have, now that you're part of the borg? try nothing, yup none whatsoever, except you have some cracks in your skull that emanate light beams and keep your ass up at night while you're trying to catch some shut eye because you gotta beat up some trolls in the morning.
Anyway, back on topic, you're cybernetic Baldur, and Hod just recently killed you and your wife, why? because he thought you were Loki of course!

You have to be a fan of day time soap operas to enjoy this, I tried to get into it, seeing Loki's daughter was a fairly shocking experience, as well as those oracles, I don't want to give away too much, but some of it was fairly interesting, but that doesn't mean I knew what was going on.

as far as believability goes for this game, it's right out the window, this is a very scifi/fantasy title, where some of the technical advances don't make sense. But I mean, we can accept Halo and Super Mario Bros and Hyrule, so why not this?

Mostly because to understand it, you need to know Norse mythology, or at least be familliar with it. Because of all these things, this game is horrible, I'd rather swim through ten thousand yards of elephant shit that's on fire, and take a salt bath afterwards than play this game again.

I mean, this game is shit. Fuck you Dennis!

new computer

well after struggling a good long time, I finally, finally got my new computer.

it's actually a smaller tower, a midsized atx tower, but it looks like it'll do everything iwant.

it doesn't have the same connections for drives like my old computer so it looks like i can't bring my existing dvd drive and hard drives over to the new computer, it sucks but I'll figure something out.

 

anyway, i've been drinking like mad and decided to try out windows live writer. here it fucking is.

Alright so

Ok so, I think I've become addicted to Xbox 360, it's becoming an obsession for me. When can I play again? I want to play now, don't want to sleep/eat/shower want to play xbox.


Anyway, I have pretty good willpower and have been able to supress this, but I still get the urge to constantly play it. I don't know what's wrong with me.

It's just a video game system.

although, with movies, being able to talk with friends, music, and more.. I..
whatever, it's still just a box.

New Additions (Recent Losses)

Well Hey everybody,

Now's the time I talk to you about my week in review.

Well, I knew I was going to get a bonus come today (yes!) of somewhere around $500 (yessir!), and I also discovered that because of some wonderful sales by a team completely unrealated to me, at all, I got another $75 dollar bonus on top of that.

It's fantastic!

So I decided I could pay off some of my bills and maybe, just maybe pickup an Xbox 360.
Especially since this week they had their prices drop down to $300 and there's a sale that you get a $25 dollar giftcard with the purchase of a new system.

Well, I thought about it long and hard, and discovered that my credit limit had been increased by over $1,500! so I decided 'you know what, screw it!' and I bought myself an Xbox 360 (going to pay off my credit card later today). It's fantastic!
I absoltuely love it. Streaming content from my PC to my Xbox is great (although I have so much content it sometimes takes a while to load..). I have three actual games for it;
Crackdown - a GTA style shooter where you're a cop trying to clean up the streets
Gears of War - a thirdperson shooter, fighting demons or aliens, or something I don't really know, I can't get past the fact that this game is so FREAKING HARD. I play most games on the normal, or medium settings, for my first go through, and this game is insanely hard. I can play other games just fine on the medium setting, but this game, is nuts!
Halo 3 - Originally, I wasn't going to get this game, I was just going to get Crackdown and Gears of War. I played Halo 3 before, and it didn't really seem like anything special to me. But my room mate said I should probably get it, and I do like Halo 1 (I never got to finish Halo 2, thanks to original xbox drive failure), so I figured since it has achievements, it's probably the better one to get. I don't know why, but achievements drive me nuts. it just makes a game more fun. Look at Geometry Wars, great game, right? well on PC there are no achievements. I find myself getting bored competing with my own scores and not having any kind of goals to make it's just unchallenging. But so far, I've actually been enjoying it. I'm coming up to the part now where you go inside a Flood ship, and there's a part like this in every game, a part where my instincts clash with what you have to do in the game. It wants you to enter the ship, and I don't want to go in there, it's probably filled with the flood, I freaking hate the flood. don't go in there, stay the hell away from the goddamn flood. I had issues like this with Half-life 2, entering Ravenholm, I guess it's just a part of the experience, I mean, what fun would the game be if you played it safe the whole way through? It'd be boring. I don't know, maybe I'm just looking for some kind of monster that isn't going to completely freak me out. I like opponents that aren't zombies; aliens, fine, humans, fine, whatever, but zombies.. let's get the hell outta there.

anyway, I am really enjoying all three games, Crackdown is just.. it's like a toy, it's so much fun, you can play with it for hours. I never get bored of jumping around the city, shooting up gang members, and increasing my stats. And Gears of War is hard, but something about it is still fun.. I don't know what it is.

I also picked up some arcade titles,
Geometry Wars - I loved this for PC, with achievements and leaderboards, I have a whole new reason to play.
Poker Smash - It's tetris attack on drugs, what can I say? I still enjoy it. I enjoy every Tetris Attack (panel de pon). I have it on Gameboy Advanced, Nintendo DS, Pokemon Puzzle League on Wii, and now I have Poker Smash on 360.. It's fantastic.
Doom - Oh my god, I knew this was on here, but I didn't know how great it was. I played Doom before on PC and most of the time I was just lost and confused. Something about this version of it, makes it so much more coherent. Perhaps it's the higher resolution, but to me this is the most approachable version of the game. It reminds me sort of, of Marathon on PC (the only version I've played).
Undertow - I kind of don't like this game so much. it was free to me (yeah, i had an xbox live acct back when they were giving it out, and i downloaded it on a friends 360) and I haven't played it much. It's a neat premise and the graphics are great I'm just kind of.. meh.. not so interested.

And then I have the usual free games that every one has access to,
yaris, hexic, and aegis wing.

I think there are more free games, but I forget. I'm at work now so I can't say what.
I also purchased an Episode of South Park "Over Logging On." it is one of my favorite South Park Episodes, probably because I work in Tech Support, and can actually make this happen.

Anyway, all in all, my Xbox 360 experience has been absolutely Fantastic! sure, I had to wait a few years so I could have other people wade through the absolute shit for me, but once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.

Well, this blog was titled New Additions (Recent Losses) for a reason, so let me tell you about the other portion.

Tuesday evening, I came home, in hopes to play perhaps some Garrys Mod and Poker Smash with my Buddy Adam.
I played some Poker Smash with him, while waiting for my computer to compress some files so I could send them to Adam so he could have those files. After Compressing them, I went to send them to him in an Email.
And then my computer crashed.
It did the little window saying "this computer will shut down in 00:05:00" bit, and for fun, I pulled the clock back to 2k5 and the number exploded. Anyway, I went ahead and shut the computer down, and then when I went to turn it back on, I was asked if I wanted to put it in safe mode. I chose to use my most recent settings that worked, and... it shut down.
I went to turn it on again, and it got to the Windows loading screen before shutting down.
I turned it on again, and it didn't POST.
For those of you who don't know, POST stands for Power On Self Test. If it passes this test, your computer will normally beep. There have been some computers out there that have been released without this beep, so don't worry if yours doesn't have one and still works, it's probably fine. My computer is supposed to beep though, and it wasn't beeping. It wasn't passing the Power On Self Test.

So I freaked out, I stopped playing Poker Smash, threw my computer on the chop block and started taking parts out. First I started with the Video card.. no difference, I put it back in.
then I tried each stick of ram individually.

One of my 1 gig corsair pieces of ram was dead.

it even had the heatsinks!

So I decided there and then, to buy a new computer.
Earlier in the day I had been browsing the Dell Website, I discovered they had an awesome deal, a Quadcore, 3gig ram, 500gig hdd, monster of a machine for only $499.
Now, with my employee discount, I was able to get it for ten dollars less than the sticker price. However with my additions and extras, it cost all together over $800 after shipping and taxes.

But I'm really looking forward to getting it. I'm going to slap my Radeon 2600 HD in there and go to town.

Anyway, I have done a lot of shopping this week and I plan on not doing a lot of shopping for a while.

Xbox 360, ripping off the Wii?

Yep, not only are they allowing the creation of Avatars (see Miis), but they're FORCING you to switch from the blade style dashboard to one focused on Channels (see Wii Channels). Also it is rumored there will be a web browser..

Now I can understand implementing Avatars, I mean, when someone creates a new device that is well received by the community, it is expected that others would have to fall in line. I mean, Internet play was something the original Xbox capitalized on, and now every system has the ability to play online. Even handheld devices!
So really, I think Avatars are here to stay.. it makes it a little easier for developers too, because they don't have to create 50 generic characters, just let the customers Avatars or Miis fill up the generic spots.

but a channel system? that's crazy. I like the blade style, it's unique, and it's convienent. Instead of having to press a button to get to the place you want to be, just use the stick, left or right!

The Wii Channel system is a little.. uh.. hands on? I mean, you have to organize your own 'features' as it is, with the channels. Another thing I really like about the Blades, is that it's really a lot more colorful than what they're advertising, also when compared to the PS3 XMB and the Wii Channel layout, the Blade system is severely more colorful.


now I know what you're thinking when you look at that screen shot, you're like 'well it's not completely uncolorful, there's quite a bit of color there.'

now if you look at what the original blade style them looked like, you'll agree there is significantly less color.
I don't know about you folks, but I know that there was a great deal of originality in the original setup, and now what are we reduced to? I know Microsoft is king of ripping people off, but.. they were doing so well with what they had..

Anyway, to wrap this up, I'm really angry that this is a forced update. I really wish that we could keep the blade system if we so chose.

Vindows Wista

hey everybody
couple of months ago i posted about how windows vista isn't horrible
it's just mediocre.

anyway, i figured i'd update you all on my story

so i went to my buddy's house and we decided to play garrys mod, lucky me my raptop can play garrys mod so we went ahead and started playing

and then anything like fire, or anything involving particles, crashed my game (laptop fine, os fine, just garrys closes). so I decided that night that I would put Xindows WP on it.

"Why would you do that?" you may be asking.
Well the reason why my game was crashing was because my computer uses shared memory for the video card. And with two gigabytes of ram, you think that'd be pretty good, right?
well it was fairly good, but not good enough for me.
so I decided if I put windows xp on it, it would get rid of some of the overhead (read: memory guzzling) from Vista (it's just that windows wants to USE the hardware new computers have.. I would be elated if they realized that the reason we update hardware isn't because of the operating system but because of OTHER programs), and then my games would run fine.

and then I hit a couple of snags.
first, Toshiba didn't relase XP drivers for my laptop. So thanks to the internet I got the correct drivers.
Notebook Review Forums

But if you follow the link, you can tell that it was quite a journey.
Anyway, I finally got all the drivers for the machine to discover that
intel hasn't found a resolution for this problem.

so anyway, i was a determined sob. I want to play garrys mod and I want it to farking work on my goddamn laptop.

anyway, I decided I'd force the app into windowed mode and it works.
Why does it work? I have no fucking clue.

But for those of you out there with an intel 945 or other crappy onboard video card, trying to play a source game with the orange bawks engine, force it into windowed mode.
here's the code to put in the options
-startwindowed / -sw / -windowed / -window / -win use the Window display mode (game appears as a window on the desktop)


and now it works fantastically.
well here's to you system, I completely beat you this time.
Ian 500 x Internet infinity

Wall-E (spoilers)

welp, i read an article and it got me started

it seems the film has many 'hidden messages' within it.

that fat people are lazy, and it's undesirable to be one (which really
isn't bad)..
but some critics and fat people apparently are really angry

The Post's Lou Lumenick weighs in, though he's careful to point out
he's a fan of the film:

"Many of the early early reviews, including mine, have noted this may
offend Disney's target audience... it turns out that large people have
been blogging angrily about "Wall-E'' since at least November. "Will
general audiences (which form the bulk of Pixar's demographic), upon
seeing a fat blob 'drinking liquified food from Big-Gulp-esque cups,
and forever surfing (and chatting) on chair-mounted video screens'
think 'Oh, wow, so that's what gravity does to humans!' or 'Wow, so
that's what the obesity epidemic will do to humans!' says a post at
The F Word. Gripes a writer at Fatshionista: "this is so INCREDIBLY
disappointing. I feel personally betrayed by Pixar right now.''


Now, I really liked the film myself, but I did also see these messages
and I think it's a good message to send to kids. The movie didn't
really feel like a propaganda ad for telling people to stay healthy
(you know, fit..) but the message was fairly clear that humanity in
that movie, turned into a bunch of web surfing/phone talking/lazy ass
blobs who'd rather focus on the screen infront of them instead of
notice the world around them.

what they could possibly be talking about, I have no clue. How they
have kids, it's even more questionable.
But it's a movie, and I'm probably looking too much into it at that point.

But really, I think to be over weight, with your eyes glued to the
screen like that, is absolutely horrid. Whether or not you're
overweight, it's not a good idea to just get glued to a screen like
that for hours. I know I work infront of a computer screen, and have
the television on at home, but..

many times at work, i do a great deal of troubleshooting with my eyes
closed and my head rolled back. It is relaxing and helps me focus,
also reduces eye strain. I find that I do a lot less online at home as
well, maybe I'll play a few games for a short amount of time, but
still i find myself usually going out, talking to people, or taking
care of chores.

but anyway, i don't have to defend myself, i was just illustrating how
what I believe is reflected in my day to day life, and what
relationship that has to this film.



Now there's also a great load of people who consider Wall-E to be a
propaganda film for left-wing ideals.
Noting how in the future the earth is covered in garbage and the
pollution made the earth so toxic they couldn't come back for 700
years.

But many are quick to point out, that this is a product of the type of
society they had, which is fairly different from the one we have..

Quote: Patrick J. Ford of The American Conservative
"In the film, it becomes clear that mass consumerism is not just the
product of big business, but of big business wedded with big
government. In fact, the two are indistinguishable in WALL-E's future.
The government unilaterally provided its citizens with everything they
needed, and this lack of variety led to Earth's downfall."


Which is quite true, BNL was the government of the whole freakin' world.
And it appears as if in the film, people were able to receive services
and products, without having to pay. It seems as if they abandoned a
monetary system all together. Which makes sense.. I always thought a
monetary system was silly, what do I want a bunch of green papers for?

Anyway, I think too, that it is important to keep away from this type
of society, it seems that the most potentially blissful types of
government, are also the most potentially evil by nature.

Human beings have a greed for power,
they have to have the newest, the best, the most..
It's derivative from lust.

Until these emotions no longer can rule us, we these types of
governments are absolutely out of reach, for actual blissful
potential.
At the same time, we need them all. It's what makes us human. The
ability to err.

Anger is just as Necessary as love, without Anger, what can we use to
define Kindness? Indifference?
Without hate, what can we use to define love?
Without greed what can we use to define generosity?
without lust what can we use to define modesty?
etc, etc..

It seems all these emotions are necessary in the world, in life, in all things.
Should we deny our need for these things like one asks to be excused
for passing gas?
Perhaps..

Anyway, back to the topic on hand..

There are many people who also view Wall-E as a pro-environment propaganda ad.
But really, I mean, Human beings do have to live here, and do have to
make some kind of impact (it's the nature of the beast), but for
anyone to either not be pro-environment, it's fairly much
anti-environment.. there is no real indifference in this situation..

Anyway, it is important to consider your surrondings and do your best
to live in harmony with it, but I don't really think this film is a
dig at our current situation. Yes, there are a lot of landfills, etc,
but that's all just imaginary stuff that was filled in my head in
school. I don't know of any actual landfills, except for one here in
Arizona.. but that's just one. There probably are many, but I can't
really speak from experience on that, because I don't have any other
than here. I don't know names or locations!

anyway, back on topic..

This model implies that society as a whole would have given up on
giving a rats ass about trash and etc.. which we all knows is very
much impossible. Will it ever turn into a completely brown toxic
world? I don't believe so, I believe a great deal of us will probably
move to another planet, because it might get a little gray, but if
that's true, it allows for the Earth to be rejuvinated with the less
people there..

And that's a huge if, there are a million other things that could
happen, this model is more of like, if we're lucky..

A meteor could hit us, destroying the entire planet, a meteor could
hit the sun, causing it to super nova, the earth could collide into
the sun, a plague could ravage us all, zombie apocalypse, robot
apocalypse, the biblical apocalypse..

I mean, there are a lot of different possibilities, for them to say
'lol this is the most likely outcome' is fairly ignorant. Shit is
going to happen. The Earth will be barraged by meteors, have massive
earth quakes, and thus tsunamis, erupting volcanoes, hurricanes,
tornados, and not to mention the constant threat of nuclear war.

We should be so lucky to end up fat blobs rediscovering culture on a
space ship millions of miles away from earth.

The best thing I thought about the movie though, is that it, unlike
many other kids movies, does not promote an unhealthy image of women.
Most Disney films, and Pixar films even, depict these scrawnly little
girls who most the time are helpless.

Even though in reality the love story between Wall-E and Eve is
between two genderless robots, they are given voices and defined by
common characteristics of each gender. I think a girl who looks up to
Eve would probably be fairly fantastic in todays world, she's a strong
character, yet feeling, loving. It is a good role model.

Anyway, I just had a lot of thoughts on the movie.. figured I'd share 'em

wark story

the following is a true story
names have been changed to protect the guilty

i had this customer, who was disabled for nonpayment. so
her phone could only call the solutions center. and the guy who sat
next to me (frank) got her first and told her to talk to the local
office. but of course she can't so she called back and i got her. so i
went to transfer her to the customer care center and i got Sally..
apparently she's a bitch.

anyway, frank was still in the account and since only one person
could be in an account at a time, sally asked me to get out of it. i
told her i wasn't in it, so i looked at frank and then sally said
'well somebody is.' and then i told frank to get out of it, and he
did, so i said to her 'ok my neighbor freed up the account' and then
she said 'it's open?' to which I replied 'yes sir, i mean, ma'am.' and
she freaked out and was all 'you have an issue. what is your name?'
and i told her.

i told my supervisor about this exchange, but no complaint was lodged.
if anything i should be complaining about her, but i said nah forget
it yo holmes to bel air, i pulled up to a house around seven or eight
and i yelled to the cabbie yo holmes smell ya later, i looked at my
kingdom i was finally there, to sit on my throne as the fresh prince
of bel air.

Movie Tiem Naow PLX?!

Guillermo Del Toro
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903624/

if you don't know who he is, he directed Pans Labyrinth and the recently released Hellboy movie..

he's known for having some really cool looking creatures and special effects, as well as some fairly scary movies..

I think it's fairly interesting that they're going to make The Hobbit, I really enjoyed that book over the others, but to be honest, I'm getting tired of these series remakes. That's all I ever hear or see anymore. "Lets remake chrono trigger!" or "lets create a series based off a comic book!" or "lets remake these movies!" or "lets create a sequel to a series that's really old!" or "lets update the graphics in X movie!"

all of these ideas lack creativity and originality.
Of course, it doesn't mean that I don't like some of those movies, Spiderman and Batman are some great examples of hollywood cashing in on ideas thought up years ago. And look at me, I'm even going to see this Hellboy movie (mostly because Guillermo Del Toro is a crazy bastard!)

Video Game Industry, Hollywood, all of it is just the same old song with some different words, that has the same meaning.

If movies are art, then clearly so are video games!
Anyway, I've read a couple of different reviews for hellboy 2 and they all said it was ok, not the best, but just a regular action flick.
apparently i'm one of the few people who are going to see it for the monster effects..

no posting

sorry for the lack of posts
life has been really crazy

because there are people who would potentially be offended by what has happened/been happening, i am not going to discuss it here, but will discuss future items as necessary.

expect more posts.

Look Me Over!

Do you think there's somebody out there
Someone else who's better than the one you've got?
Well there's not, there's not

When I talk you keep looking away from me
Because you probably think that I'm high on pot
But I'm not, I'm not

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm
You say it's such a joke
But I don't see you laughing

People seem to think you can't be called the Cap'm
Unless you drive a boat
Well, I don't
I don't

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm
Go ahead and mess with me
You'll find out what will happ'm

Sit beside me at the helm
Yeah, this is what I call the helm
And this button here is the fast-forward button

Did you say what I think you just said
My hat looks good on me?
I agree, I agree

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm
You act like it's a joke
But I don't see you laughing

People seem to think you can't be called the Cap'm
Unless you drive a boat
Well, I don't
I don't

I don't
I don't
I don't

I've been Waiting for This Moment

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend, but I don't know if you know who I am
And I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you've been
It's all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh Lord, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord


Well I remember, I remember, don't worry, how could I ever forget
It's the first time and the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me
Because the hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you and me

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Lord, oh Lord
I can feel it coming in the air, I can feel it coming in the air
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, my life

I can feel it coming in the air, I can feel it coming in the air
I've been waiting for this moment all my li-i-i-i-i-ife
I've been waiting for this moment all my life, my life

Vista Versus XP

Well my little Snowflakes,
It appears as if I must once again, turn this from a blog about my life into a place to vent my opinion.

Earlier today, I came across an article
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/microsoft-should-nuke-vista-instead/story.aspx?guid={B5F4CAC3-CDC8-488A-8849-6883D5C78053}&dist=MostReadHome

It's called, "Microsoft Should Nuke Vista instead of Windows XP."

Now, I don't work for Microsoft, I am however one of those technical experts who studies these sort of things.

here's a quote from the article..


I called up H-P myself and asked if I could buy a PC with XP instead of Vista. "Why would you want to do that?" the sales representative asked.
"Because everyone I know who uses Vista hates it, including a former IBM executive," I said. "And if computer geeks and developers don't even like it, why should consumers?" The sales rep went on extolling the virtues of Vista.
I finally told him I really did not want a PC with Vista. The salesperson said that I needed to stop listening to "amateurs" and read some real reviews. (H-P should be proud; this guy really has drunk the Vista Kool-Aid.)

Despite the sales reps obvious ineptitude ("Why would you want to do that?"), the womans point isn't valid at all. Just because there are people who hate it, doesn't mean it's bad. Ever consider that the reason people hate it, is because they don't like change? I've been using vista for about a month now, and yes, it's a big change. How things are done, and all sorts of other little bits, don't make sense, coming from an expectation that it should be like Windows XP.

But it's not Windows XP, it's a completely different operating system all together. If anyone hates Windows Vista, it's not because it's bad. It's because their expectations are not feasible. It's like saying "I hate linux." because it doesn't run Microsoft Office 2007 or because someone didn't develop a driver for a specific piece of hard ware.

Vista as an operating system is just fine. It's not a complete and utter failure. The real issue here, isn't how "bad" vista is, but how unreasonable Microsofts customers are being.

I admit, when I first got my hands on Vista, I didn't like it either. All the tricks I knew had changed, it had gotten so more complex to me. I couldn't even find simple things like the Network Connections, or a Run window!

After some hands on time with the operating system, I'm not a convert. I still very much love my Windows XP. However I don't hate Vista anymore. I'm comfortable with it.


Someone might ask me;
Why is there such a backlash now? how come it isn't like the other times Microsoft updated it's operating system?

To which I would reply;
Because, we've had Windows XP for a long time. After Windows 95, it wasn't long before Windows 98 came out, and then again for Windows ME and 2k, and shortly after came XP. Back in 2001. XP has been THE operating system for more than Five years, longer than any other Operating System released by microsoft.

We just got used to doing things a certain way. For many of us, the computer was no longer a mystical, magical beast, because with the time we spent with it, the more we got to understand it. Vista is not only new, it's different. Ignorant people tend to fear or hate different things, because they don't understand it. Am I calling every one who hates Vista ignorant? No, I'm calling every one who doesn't understand, ignorant.

The Bull

Grab the bull by the horns the old addage goes.
Nobody tells you where to go from here.
Seems like fate's pulling you.
Decisions have to be made.
The the best path is the hardest earned.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I become the bull.

There is so much at stake.
I stumble, I lose my place.
Pride and arrogance surrounded by sin.
Destiny takes its hold.
Fight it or let it go.
But I choose how today will end.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I become the bull. [x2]

This walk can get lonely.
I lose myself inside my head.
No one can touch you when you're outside staring in.
Remove myself from this rat race.

Back and forth the struggle consumes us all.
Trying to keep a level head.
In the most unsettling of times.
Today I become the bull. [x5]

Rush

http://kotaku.com/383326/street-fighter-b+listers-get-the-ta-figure-treatment

when trolling the kotaku blog
i found this article
it nearly made me die.

i found myself nearly overwhelmed.
i was angry.
frustrated.

i looked away from the screen, removed my glasses, and took a deep breath.
All these thoughts rushing into my mind.
my heart beat slowing...
and then rising suddenly

So very angry.
Sexual imagery rushing through my mind.

Inappropriate

Ok readers.. (if you exist..)

I keep up on video games, and I do so via the internet.

So I'm sure many of you can imagine my outrage when I came across this..



What the hell man?!?

The image on the left is severely inappropriate in my opinion.

Thousands of kids every where are going to see this.

GTAIV (Grand Theft Auto 4) is not a kids game!
Adults can play it, fine, whatever, but kids seriously don't need to even know this crap exists!

Time Travel

Time Travel is IMPOSSIBLE.

Or if it was possible, it would be a huge waste of time.

If you, say, were to go back in time to kill Hitler, you would create an alternate timescale where Hitler would not exist.
In this timescale, you would not have heard of Hitler, so you would not have any idea who he is, meaning you could not have made the decision to go back in time to kill him. If you do not make this decision, you would not have gone back in time to kill him.

Meaning of course, that you didn't kill Hitler, so he would have not died, and if he didn't die (by your hands that is) then the regular timescale would play out, in which you decide to go back in time to kill him.

Trapping you in an ultimate circle.

The same holds true for anyone, going back in time, to make a change that would affect the outcome of history.

But, if you were to go back in time, to observe, that would technically be possible, however even existing at a certain time, on a certain day, may have consequences unbeknownst to you.

Then you'll ask "Hey, doesn't that make time travel possible, and throw your initial statement right out the window?"

No, I stand by my statement, because the instant you successfully create any time travel device, based on what would happen, you would literally destroy the universe creating so many alternate realities where everything is happening all at once.

This is why, time travel is not possible.

Dolls

Today, I stumbled upon a blog.

http://web.mac.com/casperghostboy/Site/Blog/Blog.html

Now, it seems like, in this instance, he's doing his absolute best to justify what he does.

He treats this Doll as if it were a person, and of course we're quick to make the judgement that he's fucking it. Whether he is or isn't, it doesn't really matter to me.

Because, he is depriving himself one of the best joys in life.
Real companionship, thoughts of someone else, new ideas, the ability to be surprised and feel love from your significant other, to receive support, and help, to nurture when you need nurturing, to be strict when you need a boot in your ass, and to show real, actual affection.

Yes, this doll will always be here for him, but what can it do besides look awkward and make every one either fear you as a pervert or take pity upon you?

People who live with these dolls as mates, need real help.

I must thank Television and Google Video
Here is a show about Guys and Dolls, called, Guys and Dolls
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3710987618964917848&q=guys+and+dolls&total=2198&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

Anyway, my point being, the most important thing in a relationship with another human being (same sex or different) is lost when one commits themselves to loving a doll.

Certainly, it is not abhorable for someone to live alone, but at least in that instance they aren't fooling themselves, playing some sick perverted game.

Love, life, happiness, all things that are to be shared. Alone, what is it? it's Multiple Personality Disorder.

People like this need help, they need their loved ones to step in and say "Hey, that's not healthy."

It is fucked up.

Phantom Of The Opera

Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
And do I dream again? For now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there inside my mind

Sing once again with me our strange duet
My power over you grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me to glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is there inside your mind

Those who have seen your face draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear, it's me they hear

Your spirit and my voice in one combined
The Phantom of the Opera is there inside my mind

The Phantom of the Opera
The Phantom of the Opera

Confidence

Some say, I'm way too confident.

But I think in the very near future, I will need a great deal of confidence.

Denial of Service

When I called Cox to have my services installed, they said it would be on Tuesday.

When I called on Tuesday, because they hadn't shown up, they said it would be on Wednesday.

I am without phone, internet, or television.

Hopefully, I'll have service setup with them by the time I get home.

Anyway, for those of you who may have tried to reach my using my new number, I apologize, my phone was not even turned on.

Having A Wonderful Time

(spoken)
Hello my dear friends!
Well, here I am on record at last.
And it feels so wonderful to be here with you on my first album.

(sung)
I'm so happy!
AHA! Happy go lucky me!
I just go my way,
living everyday!

I don't worry!
Worrying don't agree,
Things that bother you,
never bother me!

Things that bother you,
never bother me
I feel happy and fine!
AHA!
Living in the sunlight,
loving in the moonlight
Having a wonderful time!

Haven't got a lot,
I don't need a lot
Coffee's only a dime
Living in the sunlight,
loving in the moonlight,
having a wonderful time!

Just take it from me,
I'm just as free as any daughter.
I do what I like,
just what I like,
and how I love it!

I'm right here to stay
When I'm old and gray,
I'll be right in my prime!
Living in the sunlight,
loving in the moonlight,
having a wonderful time!

(humming)

Just take it from me,
I'm just as free as any daughter.
I do what I like,
just what I like,
and how I love it!

I'm right here to stay,
When I'm old and gray,
I'll be right in my prime,
Living in the sunlight,
loving in the moonlight,
Having a wonderful time!

(spoken)
OH! Isn't this a lovely band!
And what a thrill it is to have them play for me.

Get Down On It

Long time no blog, I know.

So, I've finally done it. I'm officially a Cableone Associate!
I'm so glad! I worked so hard and it payed off, finally!

Also, in the area of good news, I'm finally getting my own apartment!

I signed up for all my services already (electric, phone, cable, internet), and will hopefully have them all turned on by Tuesday.

Things are just going great for me.

My St. Patty's day was awesome, the Saturday before that was pretty cool too, I went to see Psychostick in concert.

I've also hacked my psp and I've been hacking other people's psp's as well.

Everything is finally falling into place.

My finances are good,
my car is good,
my living situation is good,
my job is good,
my relationships are good.

Once I'm moved in, and I'm all situated, what's next from there? what are my goals?

Well, I need to determine where I want to move, within the Cableone company.
I need to do some more repairs, remodelling of my car.
And I suppose now that I have my own place, I'll go on the hunt.

What for do you ask?
I think you know.

Anyway, I'm happy as hell, March has turned out to be a fucking awesome Month.
Finally, I'm receiving all that luck I've been hoping for.

Things still to do:
File Taxes (still haven't gotten 1 W2)
Furnish Apartment (hoping to get that done on Tuesday)
Find a new sitter (seriously tired of the old one, and I don't want to pay 300 a week because.. quite simply.. I can't)
And of course, as always, continue my fight against pornography. During February I was especially weak, and I don't condone looking at it at all, but I continue to break my own rules. It saddens me a great degree.
Update my address with everyone
Change over the insurance on my car
Get Renters insurance
Clean the dust out of my computer


The other night I went shopping for a home phone (I know, I usually just use my cell phone, but one of my benefits being a cableone associate entitles me to $75 off my cable bill, so I figure if I go for one huge package, it'll be pretty nice, I'll only end up paying $50 a month for all 3 of my services). But the phone, cost $70!
They only had 5.8 ghz phones, and I know, that 5.8 ghz phones DO mess with wireless signals. I didn't want some crappy plastic falls apart phone, no sir, I was willing to spend $30 bucks on a phone, but I didn't want a 5.8 ghz phone.

So I went two points higher and got a 6.0ghz phone..
Oh well, it'll work out hopefully, or else I'll have to kill them!

Anyway, my new apartment has a loft, and I'm really excited about it. I chose to go for a 1 bedroom loft, instead of a two bedroom because it was cheaper and the loft can be used as a bedroom.

So of course, I want a BIG SCREEN t.v. to put downstairs, so it'll be visible from the loft.
But of course that'll be last on my list of things to buy, I gotta be cheap.

In other news, my Zune has been collecting dust, because I don't have a way to play it in my car. It's really depressing for me, because I'd like to use it, but I just plain can't.

I now own a Nintendo Entertainment System.. a Gameboy and.. a Gameboy Color..

I recently beat Final Fantasy Tactics, and I was extremely disappointed with the story line. I suppose the best part of that game, was the part that I decided to skip over, the tactics part. By cheating I made all my characters invincible and just skipped my way through all the battles, destroying each and every enemy I came across.

Boy, what a lame story!

Anyway, it's not a bad game, if you like Tactic games.. I don't.. they take forever and piss me off.

Maybe I'm just not a tactic oriented person.

In band news, we've been a little more creative recently, but haven't practiced at all. What is the point when we can't record and show off?

Anyway, we just keep rockin' out.

Well that's enough blogging for now.

Come On Eileen

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio, he moved a million hearts in mono.
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them.
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever.
Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
and we can sing just like our fathers.

Come on Eileen,
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen.

These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces they're so resigned to what their fate is,
But not us, no not us we are far too young and clever.
Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
Eileen I'll hum this tune forever.

Come on Eileen, I swear, well he means
Ah come on let's take off everything,
That pretty red dress Eileen (Tell him yes)
Ah come on let's, ah come on Eileen, please.

Good Morning

Well Mr. Blog, I don't quite know where to begin.
It's crazy, I know.. I'm crazy.

So, this week, I was planning on having Candace come to band practice with the guys, but I found out on Thursday, that band practice was cancelled because Adam had to pack because he's moving.

Quite unfortunate.

So, in the stead of this, I went to Candace's house.
In Gilbert.
And I haven't been home since.
I miss home.

I had a fun time, don't get me wrong.

Anyway, after work yesterday, I embarked towards this mystical place, and found myself on the highway for 2 hours.
Not that it was far, it was, but traffic was a fucking nightmare.

So, I arrived at her place, and we played guitar hero for a bit until we got hungry, well, until she got hungry, I'd been hungry for a while.
We went to Taco Bell, and ate... then she wanted to go to Water and Ice and I was like "lulz ok." so we got there and I was impressed by the size of the place, but not by any of their wares.

However, I did see a Ms. Pacman arcade machine and said "Dear 50 cents, I knew ye well but today we shall part." and I actually got pretty far (for my standards) I actually got to level 3, which was shocking for me, because I'm used to dying on the first level, all 3 times. And it doesn't help that all pacman games, regardless of arcade machine or not, all have really messed up controls. Going left or right is absolutely miserable, it's frustrating and I fucking hate it.

Anyway, from there, she decided that Eurotrip was the film we'd watch, and since I hadn't seen it, I agreed to it.
It was a fairly funny film, albeit quite sexual in nature.

Anyway, about the time the movie was over, it was 10:00! so I resigned myself to having to leave, I have work this morning, and am currently writing this from work.
but, I had this mystical, magical adventure, where I took a wrong turn, and I ended up not being able to leave.
I got on the 101 and ended up getting on the 202 and then I ended up driving through Chandler and drove myself insane. I was in the small area of Santan, which reminded me, when I was younger my mother bought me a copy of Silent Hill for Christmas, now it wasn't the first issued one, it was a greatest hits, but she wrote on it "From Satan claws" which I thought was just cheesey at the time, but last night, it made me think "CHRIST I'M IN FUCKING SILENT HILL! THERE IS NO ESCAPE!"

So anyway, at about 11:00, I was right back where I started, so I gave Candace a call, and she was nice enough to let me crash there.
before I could crash though, we had a dip in the hot tub.
It was very nice and relaxing, I'm so very glad I got the chance to do that, I love hot tubs.
Anyway, after that, I bummed some Melatonin off of her, and crashed on her couch.
Crazy.

Anyway, I woke up at five, and ended up driving all the way to work (HOLY CRAP I ESCAPED!), picked up some McDonalds first, and a couple of energy drinks at Walgreens, to make it through the day.

GOALS FOR TODAY:
1. Work
2. Go Home
3. Sleep

Pretty much, if I can't make number 2, without having to visit #3 first, then I will do so.

NO
SLEEP
TIL BROOKLYN

Anyway, Mr. Blog, I hope this letter finds you well, it seems I've lost a certain amount of anonymity since we last spoke. Here's hoping for the best!

Retardedness

Hey everyone,
I recently picked up the orange box, and with the announcement that tomorrow there will be some FREE UPDATES it got me to thinking about our less fortunate Xbox360 friends.

Those who have to pay for a service, and then have to pay to download content that would otherwise be free.

I wonder if these maps will be released for free on the 360 market or if Microsoft will attach a tax to them.

I say this retardedness has gone on long enough.

Mass Effect and Fox News

Ok, I have to pick a fight here with this.

1. The Character in which your character gets to have digital sex with, is a hermaphrodite, not a woman or a man.
2. The latest study actually shows that the majority of gamers are age 30+ (and live in their basement with their mom)
3. This isn't "Luke Skywalker meets Debbie Does Dallas" like Keighly said, there's 30 seconds of half an alien boob and side as opposed to 30 hours+ gameplay. I'm telling you, if Debbie does dallas only had 30 seconds of sideboob, NOBODY would know what it was.
4. The Marker for the ESRB rating is ALWAYS on the FRONT COVER.
5. Atari? Bitch please! How old are you anyway, 50? Nice plastic Surgery.
6. I'm quite certain that the creators of Mass Effect will sleep well, knowing that a panty waste like you, who's too fucking ignorant to try to understand something, won't buy a single copy of their game.
7. Marketing to kids? Are you kidding me? can you name a place where you saw a Mass Effect Commercial? I can't! It doesn't seem like they're marketing at all.
8. If you don't watch your kids, if you don't raise your kids properly, that when you have disobedient little shits who would break open a cupboard to play your stupid game.

And I could rant all fucking day, this video is fucked up.

So Angry

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not sure why, bad moood. :(

newest developments

hey
i've been blogging alot on myspace.
so I figure I ought to blog here.

my friend has been banned from speaking to me.
her boyfriend has taken it upon himself to see me as a threat to his home, and calls me a homewrecker.

When in all reality, it is him who is wrecking their home.
Despite her oath to him, to stop talking to me, she still contacts me, because I am her friend.
She does greatly value our friendship and this is something I'm quite proud of.

Anyway, it appears as if he is starting to admit he has a problem, I've heard word that he is going to try to get medication for his problem.

however I don't believe medication will solve this issue, at least not alone.
medication might offer some temporary relief, but the issues they have going on at home, with his lack of respect towards her, is not something that medication alone can solve.
In order for him to change, he has to change his whole point of view. He has to realize how brilliant she actually is.

Anyway, this is not a blog on THEIR relationship or THEIR life, so I will bring this back around to my point of view.


What do I hope to achieve: Happiness for my friend, but also to have an elevated relationship with my friend (perhaps girlfriend?)
What I feel: I feel that he will never change, and that she should stop wasting her time and kick him out. Start the healing process now.
What I've done: I've done my best to be a good friend, and try to keep from coming at this with romantic intentions. Even though that's what I hope to achieve, she needs a friend right now, and not someone chasing after her.
How I Feel: Bipolar. At times I feel ok, maybe even happy, other times I feel distraught. Mostly because I have no one to talk to.
My Plans: My plans are just to try to be a good friend and stick it out, if I will achieve my goal, it will have to be through letting time decide. Although, I will be a good friend to Monica and help her in determining things if she asks. Like, letting her know that I think he needs more than medication.

In other news:
I refuse to pay $400 a month to my ex for child rearing. I do admit money should be paid, but no where near $400 a month. I have to move out of my dads place and I'm never going to get anywhere if I give her all my money.

her response to this, has been to DECREASE what she feels is acceptable time for me to see my kids.

Apparently you have to pay to play.

Not seeing my kids has caused me a great amount of grief and anger. I miss my boys. I love them so much.

I have been so lonely lately, I've considered calling up the she-bitch herself just to have someone to talk to, if she'd entertain me.
But I've stayed away from dropping to such a low.

Things have been particularly on edge lately, and I'm starting to get sick of it. I just want to have a friend to talk to, I don't want to worry about sneaking around, or having to wait for her to call me.

blogging has been my outlet, and unfortunately it only provides a little relief.

A Sailors Life For Me.

I am the captain of a lonely ship.
No one mans my sails but me.

I look for a hearty crew to join me on my quest.
But it seems that either no one is interested, or those who are interested are put off by my other qualities.
So I shall sail alone, through rain and murky waters.

Being Captain of a ship doesn't mean much when you're the only crew member.

Going from port to port, looking for people to join..

I've always found a little bit of pleasure in being alone though.
Relying on myself to save myself.

The water isn't always so bad either, sometimes it's nice to take a swim.
And I may meet some people along the way, Captains of other ships.
Become friends with them and their crew.

But I must never forget that I am alone.

Destination seemingly unreachable without a crew.

But most likely, once I get there, I'll miss sailing.

The best part about reaching the destination is usually the trip you take to get there.
Winning, losing, Sailing high, making stops along the way..

Perhaps it is better to give up the idea of reaching a destination and just sail.

There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Who needs to stop when one can live off the sea as one would live off the land?

Captain of No One.
Hero of myself.
Big fish in a little pond.


--------

My body, a vessel.
This life, the waters.
My mind and soul, the Captain.

I sail these seas and visit places secretly.
Secrecy, hard to imagine a huge ship, with enormous sails, being able to secretly travel about.

Aye, I smell the scent of a mutiny. Perhaps it shall work in my favor.
So I work, in secret, to aid those who would sabotage their captain, for their gain, and yet my own.

I am the Captain, I wear a nice hat.
I control the wheel.

Perhaps once this mutiny is over, I shall have a new crew to assist me in manning my sails.

If not, oh well, at least I helped a few troubled souls along my way.

They call me crazy, for being at sea without a map.
I learned my way around these waters.
Through mistakes.
Through advice.

My Ship, the S.S. Avalon...
Aye, I did work hard for her, and I will have more work to go.
Hopefully I will have my own locker soon..

Perhaps it will be a locker that I will share.

Victory, Triumphs? Hah!

I relapsed today.

A day that I should be happy, and I feel sad.

my friend managed a breakthrough in her relationship and is expecting high amounts of change.

she has also told me about how irresistible I am.
And that she told her man that she has contemplated rooming with me.

I should be happy if not for the first reason then for the second two.

But it appears as if my friendly little courting run, has come to an end.
As I sit here, in my pitiful existence, wondering what could possibly be wrong, that nearly a week ago I was beaming with confidence, happy, and couldn't remember the last time I viewed pornography, and even cooled off on masturbation.

a wreck

I am going to smoke a cigarette and try to keep myself from doing anymore damage.

I told my friend that I was rooting for them to break up, because it didn't seem like he was going to change and that all he could do was hurt them and hurt them, and hurt the family.

but I saw him today, and he seemed cheery almost.
it was peculiar.

I found out I was right on some theories I had about him.
maybe once things settle down, if I don't make it in the computer industry, I could become a relationship counselor.

I feel dangerous.
I feel like raising trouble.

When I was a young boy
Growing up in the ghetto
Hanging out on corners
Singin' with the fellas
Lookin' for the cute chicks
Trying to find a bit of fun
Looking for some trouble
From anyone who'll give me some

I was young and crazy
In the ghetto
Didn't know what my life would be
In the ghetto
I was dumb and oh so lazy
In the ghetto
Something had a spell on me
In the ghetto

You wanna know what I'm talkin' bout?
Talkin' 'bout ghetto life
Ghetto Liiiiiiiiiiiife
You wanna know what I'm singin' 'bout?
Talkin' 'bout ghetto life
Ghetto Liiiiiiiiiiiife

When I was a young man
Kind of free and fancy
Met this little cute girl
She said her name was Nancy
She had pigtails to her shoulders
She couldn't have been much older
She taught me what I had to know
To make a girl not want to go

She was very kinky
In the ghetto
She laid her pigtails down on me
In the ghetto
And I was feeling oh so sneaky
In the ghetto
I had to see what love could be
In the ghetto

I knew it all along
That my game was strong
But I was wrong that time
I knew I had to pray
And give myself away
Did you think I was man enough?
Yeah
Did you think I was smart enough?
Yeah
Did you think I was strong enough?
Yeah
Did you think I'd work it out?


So I'm going to ease up a little bit, I suppose.
I'm too charming and romantic.
And even though I might get something that would be fun, I would not get the love and relationship I would want.

So it's a lost cause.
Who needs 5 kids running around anyway?

Yeah, that's what I'll do, make jokes about it.
that'll put the fire out
that'll solve everything

despite offending

I care deeply for my friend and her family.
And she cares for me, she's been a reader of my blog for a long time.
She's helped me through a lot of tough times, behind the scenes.

But she loves a Dustin who is me.
And only likes the me who is me.

So tomorrow, after I drop my kids off at the day care, I'm going to pick up my friend brendan and we are going to go looking around.
Friday, my band is having a Dance Dance Revolution stomp out at Castles And Coasters.

Going to rock out with our cocks out.

ok, maybe not.

Brendan has been upset, because the band hardly practices.
He really wants us to make something of ourselves.
I'm happy just to have a day to go and make an ass out of myself and let out some of my creativity.

It seems I've bottled so much of it over the past years.


my job is going extremely well
I was the call champion last month, I took in the most calls of the whole center, over 1k
Also, I won an award that entitles me to free lunch
and I'm getting a $165 bonus at the end of this month.

I enjoy driving my new toyota.


I can't stop thinking about my friend, I wish she was mine.

It seems to people my age, I'm too weird, too clingy, because I don't want to just date and goof off.
I have my children to think about.

I want to be with someone who knows about children, is good with them, and much more.

my friend is brilliant

smoke time.